365 Things to Smile About Day 245. Post Port Removal Workout!

I have really struggled with having my port taken out.  It was absolutely the right thing to do.  It was time and also necessary.  But it has also scared me a lot.  My port was like my security blanket.  If I kept it in, my cancer wouldn't come back.  Irrational, maybe, but there it is.

Last night before I fell asleep I realized I have really been slacking off on walking and doing my small, daily workout routine.  I told myself I had no reason to be slacking at all anymore since I no longer had to worry about tugging on my port with different weights and machines.  I decided that I would get back into the gym first thing in the morning.

Well, Saturday being Saturday I admit I slept in!  But right after breakfast I got dressed and headed out, intending to only do my hand hour on the treadmill.  I do like seeing the steps on my pedometer app go up!  As I was walking I found myself continuously reaching up and touching where my port had been and looking at all the machines that had been taboo for over two years.  I'll admit, I was scared of trying them.  There was no medical reason why I couldn't but lets face it, a lot of times fear is difficult to explain.

So I just kinda wandered over to that side of the room after my walk time (which I was able to put a few short, gentle sprints into without falling down!).  I literally stalled by getting on the machine where you put your feet up on a "wall" in front of you pushed it to straiten your legs.  I did several reps on that before I could bring myself to go to the other machines.  But I finally made it over there, set my weights to I think 10 lbs (it's been a while) and did the forbidden push ups that I had been told in no uncertain terms I was NOT allowed to do with a port in!  Nothing feels worse and freaks you out more than to feel your port tugged!!  But this time there was no tugging!!!  LOL!  And so I moved on to another machine I haven't touched in a while and worked on that too!!.

In the end I managed to get a good, FULL, upper body workout!!  First time in almost 3 years!!  It felt pretty great!!!!  So once more, working on one fear at a time and slowly moving past them!!!