Feet Back Under Me: Even More Changes 5 Years Out!

  Ok, so it has been quite a while since I have written something. Last month I hit five years since my last chemo. The big date that is made such a big deal of. I’ll admit I had mixed emotions that day. It was overwhelming and at the same time I didn’t want it to be. I wanted it to be like every other day. But it wasn’t. It brought a lot of memories back. Both good and bad. A couple times I could almost feel myself sitting in that lazy boy chemo chair. My hand kept going to where my port use to be all day and I found myself touching my hand to the top of my head like I use to do constantly when I was bald!  I also spent time looking around me. I saw my coworkers I have been with the past year. I spent time outside looking at my mountains and feeling happy to be back home in Virginia after so many years. I walked into my townhouse and felt comfortable and homey. Every emotion was intense and sometimes raw. And I still found myself laughing between the sobbing!  Yes, sobbing. I called my mom and just let loose in probably an incoherent way everything I was feeling!  And she made sense out of it for me. And then reminded me where I was in life.

She reminded me that last spring and this summer I took Foster Parent classes and was certified to foster in August. Taking a big step to being a mom finally. She reminded me that I had learned so much about myself with these classes. That I had grown a lot in this past year of being home in Vieginia again.  I let the happiness of these things wash over me. 

I talked to the man I love and who loves me and he reminded me that I don’t have to live in those terrifying and heart breaking memories.  They will always be there but I can choose to not let them over whelm me. That I can look at all the wonderful things in my life. And there are a lot of them. 

So, as always, I gave myself another goal. Another step into living my life.  I’ve been wanting to buy my own house for a long time. Long before I ever got sick.   And while I love my job, I won’t get to buying a house on my salary alone. So I took the plunge. I started my own business with Thirty-One! That is going to get me to my house. My next goal. And if you want to help, please do!!  Go to my Facebook group page Cat’s Totes and More and add yourself and shop and host a party!! So many great hostess perks!  And let’s  face it, Thirty-One has CUTE stuff!!  Lol!  Let’s support each other in moving forward!!  If any of you do direct sales, I will support you too!  Lord knows I don’t have the physical energy anymore in my life to be working two on-site jobs!  I’m thanking God for the energy to work my full time job!  Thirty-One allows me to work largely from my phone!! Lol!

Anyway, life is moving forward in so many good ways!  I hope and pray yours are too!!  And I think I will try to get back to blogging more again and staying in touch with all my fellow warriors!  Love and prayers to you all!