Last week ended with a very rough day for me. A lot just seemed to be coming down on my head and I ended up breaking down in my supervisor's office in the morning. Thank you inability to control emotions from menopause! I really like those embarrassing moments! One of the things I love about my supervisor is her absolute understanding that sometimes we have those days that honestly bring us to our knees. I felt like I was holding a boulder on my shoulders and she could see it. She gave me some advice and something silly to help me remember and get me through the day. She asked me how I would eat a whole elephant. I looked at her confused as I wiped tears that refused to leave my eyes. "One bite at a time." she said. She then gave me a plastic spoon to hold in my pocket for the day and every time I felt like all these things I am dealing with were going to over whelm me as I worked with my student I grabbed ahold of it. I have to say, it worked! It was a tangible reminder to take everything one bite at a time. You can't do it all in one fell swoop but rather one small piece at a time.
This morning my body started doing some lovely menopause rebellion things. I started hot flashing to the point where I was getting dizzy! My knee was hurting me and felt inflamed and my brain was starting to fray from the frustration that people were looking at me like I belonged in a hospital bed or something. Apparently a 36 year old (who looks like a 25 year old) worries people when they hot flash! Anyway, I walked into my supervisor's office to talk over my morning and she looked at me and smiled and said, "Do you want the spoon?" All I could do was hold out my hand and we both started to laugh! And that laugh was exactly what I needed...and the spoon! I kept it in my pocket all day and often found myself gripping it for a second...and then smiling:). Because you just take things one bite at a time. You can't control everything and thats ok:). So when you are frustrated, ask yourself how to eat an elephant and then grab a spoon and smile!
After 15 years of trying to finish my undergrad, I spent the week before finals in and out of the ER. During finals I was diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer. I graduated Magna Cum Laude the next weekend from Western Michigan University. I am now blogging about my experiences of fighting cancer & living life after in hopes of being able to help others.
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