Today was a rough day. Today I had to keep smiling and encouraging and congratulating someone who accidentally got pregnant. I know she is amazed and excited but all I can think of is how incredibly unfair it is. All my life I have wanted babies, as I know I have said before. Other dreams came and went but that one never wavered. And all afternoon and into the evening I was with someone who was either glowing and gushing about being pregnant or gushing about a grand baby they are raising. And I am happy for them, I am. But my heart is breaking right now and all I could do was smile and laugh at their stories and listen to them and congratulate them. And all I wanted to do was break down and cry.
So today I have decided my smile comes from that stupid Pokemon game that is taking over. I had three minutes to myself this afternoon and I checked the messages on my phone and decided to check the game and found I was not only surrounded by those weird little creatures but I was also at a Poke Stop for the first time. And for a second I could smile. That crazy game gave me something to truly smile over that wasn't forced. Because of that, the Pokemon game is now something I'm not going to complain about or make too much fun of because I can laugh at myself for playing it and on days like today, I need a laugh, no matter how small or silly it is.
After 15 years of trying to finish my undergrad, I spent the week before finals in and out of the ER. During finals I was diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer. I graduated Magna Cum Laude the next weekend from Western Michigan University. I am now blogging about my experiences of fighting cancer & living life after in hopes of being able to help others.
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