365 Things to Smile About Day 131. Job Applications

Today I realized something.  I am back to the place I was three years ago.  Three years ago I was starting to send out resumes and fill out applications for jobs in anticipation of graduating from undergrad.  That was such an exciting time for me because after 15 years I was FINALLY going to be finished with my undergrad.  I had been working towards that day for so long and so many things had kept getting in the way and postponing finishing that degree.  But I had finally made it to my last semester and it was time to job hunt.

Then my last finals week came several months later and the cancer was found and my life turned completely upside down.  One of the job applications I had sent out this time three years ago had turned into job interviews and it was looking like I was going to head to Southern California to start a teaching career.  I had mapped my life out.  And then that map got rewritten.  And three years later, I am back to sending out resumes and filling out applications over Christmas break before my last semester of classes for a graduate degree.

I am mapping my life out again but in a different way.  I know things may not go perfectly and I know that a curve ball may come out of left field and thats ok.  Because I also know what I want to do and this time I have a passion for what I want to do that I have never before felt.  Yes, I am a little scared that come graduation time cancer will rear it's ugly head again.  But I also know that fear is just what it is.  It's just fear.  Not reality.  And the reality is, I sent out applications and resumes today for after graduation.  The reality is that I will walk in the commencement ceremony in April and there won't be a wheelchair anywhere near me.  I will go to my internship and then start an amazing job where I can make a difference.  And this all starts today, with job applications.