Sunshine, friends and family.

This weekend has been difficult with grandma in the hospital.  But I want to say there are two important things for getting through those hard times.  Sunshine, friends and family.  I have noticed that on days where it is over cast a dreery, I feel miserable.  Aches and soreness and icky feelings that had been gone seem to come back for no logical reason.  If curling up were something that was easier to do, I would curl up in bed all day.  Fortunately, while my ability to lay on my side and curl up a tiny bit is returning...it isn't comfortable to be in that position all day.  So I stay out of bed and fight through it.  But when the sun comes out, I feel a lot better.  Not like my old self by far but much better than when it is gloomy!  When the sun came out today and the clouds cleared away to reveal a beautiful blue sky and bright sunshine, I felt a small weight lift off of me.  And any amount of feeling better is a good thing.

Another important thing are friends.  Yesterday was not a happy day.  On top of being over cast all day, my grandma was going through a lot at the hospital and I couldn't be there to support her because I'm starting chemo and can't catch the pneumonia (and now plurosy)  that she has.  In fact my family members who spend time with her have to wear masks.  So while I was sitting at home yesterday, I found myself unable to keep my mind off of what was all going on.  It was starting to become overwhelming when I got a phone call from a friend.  I ended up crying over the phone to her about the frustration and fear I was feeling.  And sometimes, you just have to cry!  It is really great to have a friend who understands it all and lets you vent a little.  Holding it all in is probably one of the worse things you can do I'm learning.

Lastly, family is pretty important in holding me up.  My younger brother did something that meant a lot to me.  He had been talking about it but I wasn't sure if he would.  He came up for the weekend to be with grandma, and last night he went on some errands.  When he came back, he had gotten his head shaved bald, so that I wouldn't be bald alone when I loose my hair!!  Support like that means more than I can say!

Combine all three of these things, and all of this is a little bit easier to handle.