In the Air!

In the Air!
400 feet above the ground in Orlando.

Florida

Florida
Taking my first step towards a new life.

Virginia

Virginia
Spending an afternoon at Marymount during my internship!

My rocks!

My rocks!
Wouldn't be where I am without my parents!

Graduation

Graduation
Walking for my Masters. An interesting book end as this all started when I graduated from undergrad!

Awesome Nurses!

Awesome Nurses!
After my port removal and saying goodbye to my chemo nurses before moving away from Michigan. Wouldn't be doing that without them!

Hair again!

Hair again!
Growing longer each day

Last Chemo

Last Chemo

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Silliness

Silliness
Something to remember and return to. A good day!

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Saturday, June 15, 2013

Never thought it would happen

Well, on the advice of my mom and my sister-on-law I'm trying to write about everything going on.  I thought my biggest hurdle was going to be graduating from college.  That seems like the easiest thing ever now!  And something I have accomplished.  I'm proud of that accomplishment but it feels so over shadowed by everything else. 
The week before graduation it felt like everything was coming unraveled and I had no way of stopping it.  I felt like I was on a raft being pushed all over the place with no way to guide, just hanging on for dear life.  I'm still hanging on, but now I feel like I have some ability to steer.
Having two surgeries in less than a month and being diagnosed with cancer in the midst of them is something I wasn't expecting to be dealing with.  But now I have to deal with it and am trying my best.
Not a lot of clear thought goes through my head when I think about this but what does go through I'm trying to express, hoping it helps.
On June 20 I get my port for chemo treatments put in.  It is a simple procedure I'm told.  I'm not knocked out but rather filled up with happy juice.  To be honest, it has me pretty scared but it is necessary for a smoother chemo.  I suppose it is best to not have to deal with IV's and repeated sticks in the veins in my arms...but the thought of being awake when they cut in and tuck a long cord into a vein and then sew over a little plastic thing just under my skin....yeap, pretty freaky. 
I have six treatments of chemo coming my way.   The plan is every three weeks I have one day of chemo, assuming my blood levels are at the proper places. 
I'm going to be loosing my hair from this chemo, although my grandma refuses to accept that and has told me numerous times the doctor doesn't know what he is talking about!  lol!  Doctors have learned to not argue with my grandma :)  Regardless, as much as I would like to believe grandma's words have the power to stop drugs from making my hair fall out all over, chances are they don't.  I'm going back and forth between freaking out and crying over the prospect and focusing on finding cute hats and scarves to wear and joke about crazy colored wigs.  It's like if I focus on hairloss being the worst thing that will happen, the nausea and crummy feeling that will follow each chemo treatment won't be so bad.
I've managed to find a cute, hot pink fedora and a multicolored scarf that works like a dew rag.  We'll see what else I find and how things go.

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