Friday, August 9, 2013
Friends, Hold Them Close
Before my second chemo was my long time friend, and "sister" Renee. We have been friends for so long that really, words aren't always necessary to tell each other we we are thinking about them. But she also knew that sometimes, you need to say or hear the words. Sitting and talking as I fought fatigue helped me more than one would guess. Having a close and dear friend sitting on the couch across from me...a place where she has set hundreds of time before during high school, and on visits home from VA and IL. I actually didn't have the energy to talk much that day but sitting and listening, hearing a friends voice and a feeling a hug from someone close to you, it is a relief and almost a balm that works far better than any medication.
Yesterday, as I close in on my 3rd treatment, I was so happy and excited to have a visit from one of my oldest friends, Angela. Friends since 8th grade, about twenty years now, so many wonderful memories came flooding back! And being able to make new memories made me even happier. A visit to the county fair and a chance to sit and talk about what is going on in our lives was just what I needed!! To have a chance to be able to look a friend in a face, admit that despite the positive outlook I have adopted, this whole thing is so unbelievably difficult! And to hear a friend say that it is ok to unload a bit, felt like a small weight off my shoulders!
I don't want to constantly be talking about the difficulties and the fears I have. But to have a chance to get some of that off my chest face to face with a friend who understands, doesn't offer platitudes and just listens is very cathartic! And then to be able to drop it all, and go have some fun. Whether it is just sitting in a chair talking about all different kinds of things, or going to a fair and talking about the great and wonderful world of The Little Green People!!! I don't care how old we get, those memories made in childhood and young adulthood will always remain precious and always be something that can pull one out of sadness and fear. But to remember those things and create new memories, you need to see your friends!!
I know I am counting the days not only for this chemo to be over and behind me but also the days until I can make it back to VA and see so many of my friends! Counting the days until I can go to IN and IL and see close friends there as well. To know that I can travel without the fear of getting sick! To be able to walk in public with my friends without wearing a mask! To continue to make new memories with friends so that years down the road, old and white haired and sitting on a porch, the kids walking by think we are going a little batty as we laugh old lady laughs at the ridiculous and wonderful memories we shared together! And thanking God that all those years later, we are able to laugh about and share those memories with one another.
While I don't exactly know what the future holds for me, I trust in God that it will include many more visits with friends and many more new memories! In the mean time, each visit is going to something I cherish and hold on to on difficult days in the next ten to twelve weeks.