Feet Back Under Me: Processing Doctor's Appointment.

First and foremost I have to make sure I say that my most recent doctors appointment was routine and so far uneventful as for tests.  The normal yearly tests were run and are being sent off for results.  No concerns.  What I had to spend a few days processing before writing was a long conversation my new doctor and I had concerning genetic testing.

I learned when I was starting chemo that I was genetically predisposed to the type of cancer I had, Endometrial Cancer, as well as re-occurances.  I remember a doctor asking if I had been tested for the BRCA gene.  I had not and at the time to even think of it was beyond overwhelming.  I didn't think about it since because none of my other doctors have brought it up.  One said they wanted me to get a base line mammogram because my grandmother had breast cancer and cancer in general seems to run in my family.  I was not able to get one because I was told by every place I went to that I was too young.  So when I hit 40 in less than two years, I will be in line for one.  At any rate, my doctor last wanted to talk about the BRCA gene.  I said I hadn't been tested and she seemed worried by this given my history and my family history.  She is looking into seeing if my insurance will cover it because of some other family history.  I know it is not a cheap test and if my insurance can't cover it then I guess I won't be getting the test.

What was hard to process for me was that this doctor seemed very concerned that I did not know if I had the gene.  And this forced me to think about what might come up if I am tested and found that I have that gene.  How would I handle it?  Do I even want to know if I have it?  Is there anything I can even do about it?  I managed to work myself into a stressful spot that day.  And then, I took a deep breath.  Something I have to work on with myself is how much stress I allow in my life and how much I let it feed on my fears and worries.  And I can't let this feed.

There are no signs to cause concern.  And if I can't afford the test then I just stay vigilant with my breast exams and make an appointment for November 21, 2019 to have a mammogram.  And I set it aside and not let it stop me from living my life.  But it did make me hesitate in writing for a few days as I wanted to make sure I didn't spill out that fear and stress but rather looked at it in a way that would help me.

I have some big things I am looking into that I will share with you all soon.  Big life changes of the happiest kind!  So, I am putting my stress and fear of this BRCA gene into God's hands right now, since there isn't much I can do about it at the moment.  I really believe He has had a plan for me all along.  He has been watching over me and filing me with strength and grace when I need it and He will keep doing this.