I know I haven't written much lately. I think part of me has wanted to forget what I'm going through for awhile and not acknowledge it! Which is hard to do when the bigger part of your brain won't shut up about all your crazy fears!
But this week hasn't been too bad. I haven't gone out except for blood work but I've been outside a bit more:). It was so great to see my friend Annie who came to visit!! It has been years and it was so good to just sit and talk like everything in life was normal! Then we went out and picked apples in the back yard and while it totally wiped me out....it was so worth it! Because for a few hours, I felt normal!! For a few hours, it was like my cancer and the chemo didn't exist!
Tuesday is chemo 5. Part of me wishes we could just stop...no more! But then I remember...I choose to do this and I have to finish this. So as much as I would love to run away and hide, I have to suck it up, do two more chemos and deal with what comes after each one. But also remember that the sick feeling WILL eventually pass and I'm almost there! Please dear Lord, help me get through this two more times!!