In the Air!

In the Air!
400 feet above the ground in Orlando.

Florida

Florida
Taking my first step towards a new life.

Virginia

Virginia
Spending an afternoon at Marymount during my internship!

My rocks!

My rocks!
Wouldn't be where I am without my parents!

Graduation

Graduation
Walking for my Masters. An interesting book end as this all started when I graduated from undergrad!

Awesome Nurses!

Awesome Nurses!
After my port removal and saying goodbye to my chemo nurses before moving away from Michigan. Wouldn't be doing that without them!

Hair again!

Hair again!
Growing longer each day

Last Chemo

Last Chemo

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Silliness

Silliness
Something to remember and return to. A good day!

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Sunday, September 15, 2013

A Feeling of Isolation

The number of emotions a person feels while going through all of this is staggering sometimes!  And never are these emotions small.  I think one that I've been struggling the most with is isolated.

Yeah, that is an emotion.  It's actually a whole slew of emotions that culminate somehow in that one word.  Sadness, fear, loneliness...actually, I think loneliness is the best word for it.  I'm daily with my parents and I know without them I would be completely alone and adrift in this storm.  But that feeling is still there.

Because of a combination of how tired (and sometimes rotten) I feel there is no desire to leave the house.  And because I have to be careful of not catching any bugs (and I'm permanently exhausted) it is hard to connect with the few friends I have within driving distance.  And having most of my family and friends living hundreds of miles away adds to it all.

I have so many wonderful friends and an amazing family offering prayers for me, and those prayers are essential to me getting better I know, but in a way, it contributes to the isolation.  I think so many people are so focused on assurance of prayers that they forget that even Jesus needed the physical comfort of His friends.

Prayers are so very important, but I think people forget that Jesus had his friends with Him in the garden for a reason.  Physical comfort of any type is just as important as prayer.  I have one friend who doesn't say anything to me but he is praying for me...which i greatly appreciate..and only says that if i contact him.  Nothing else.  This is the same friend who begged me not to leave VA to go back to school.  And since this all started...I only hear from him when i contact him.  I love his prayers...but I need his support and support of all my family and friends.

I know friends and family can't come from out of state to visit me but that isn't the only way to break my isolation.  A letter, a text, an email.  More than once.  And saying more than I'm praying for you.  I know you're praying for me!  I love those prayers!  But I need YOU!  I need you to mentally break out of this isolation if not physically.  I need my friends and family!  Please!

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