365 Things to Smile About Day 271. Falling Flat!!

So often we try to put up a front when we fall, wether it's literally or figuratively.  We don't want people to think we aren't perfect or strong. When you have cancer many people expect you to be strong. They don't know what to do when you don't have that face up. So you put on that face.  You are strong. You hide it when you fall. 

Today I was walking into my storage unit on smooth, wet pavement and my feet slipped out from under me and I fell almost flat on my back in front of a handful of strangers!  I was ok. I sat there a minute shaking out my arms and hands that failed to catch me. And I realized something. I can't hide it when I fall anymore. And I don't want to hide it anymore. I don't mean I'm going to show every difficulty and stress I experience. But I'm not going to constantly try to put up a front when I fall when it's just too much. 

So today I'm smiling because I felt a little weight lift off my shoulders:).  Nothing like a small dose of public humiliation to make you see that you don't have to be strong 24/7!!!  Lol:)

365 Things to Smile About Day 270. Coffee!

About ten plus years ago I had to give up coffee and basically all caffeine. It was giving me very bad headaches that easily turned into vicious migraines. 

Today, as I was driving from NOVA to Richmond my eyes started doing their dance as I got more and more tired. Music wasn't helping and neither was water. I stopped at a rest area and found myself standing in front of the vending machine with the Starbucks frapacino drinks and decided that since I don't start work until Monday I would give caffeine another chance. I needed my eyes to stop dancing from being tired!

I bought and drank down a mocha frapacino and it was GOOD!!  I've never been a fan of Starbucks in general but this drink was one I've always liked!!  It was like saying hello to an old friend!  Lol!  It did the trick and got me home:)

So far the only headache is a small sinus one that comes and goes with the barometric pressure change. So maybe once in a while I can indulge in some delicious coffee again!  We shall see! 

365 Things to Smile About. Day 269. Good Days:)

So today was a good day. Many things made it that way, such as finding out I passed my certification exam!!!!!!  Huge accomplishment!!!!   But I think specifically it was good because of time spent with friends!  I had a three hour visit with one particular person who is very near and dear to me:). At the end of which we were at Five Guys and I could only look up and smile and honestly say that today was a good day because of our time together:). 

Then this evening I had a wonderful time with two more friends!  This included and last minute (and for me, first time!) trip to a "make it yourself" frozen yogurt shop!  I think it was called Zinga's. At any rate, it was soooo good!!!  Then we spent the evening talking until we were all to tired to keep talking!  Lol!

So a good day with friends!  And the best part is...I don't have to say goodbye anymore, just see you soon!!  

365 Things to Smile About Day 268. Breakfast! Lol!!

This morning before heading down to Richmond my brother and I got a lovely treat from a friend. We had stayed at a hotel with a kitchenette and my dear friend Ginny came over with pans and eggs and bacon and juice and made us an amazing, delicious breakfast!!!!

A great way to start a long and exhausting day!  Hanging with friends and eating a delicious breakfast together!!!  

365 Things to Smile About Day 267. Road Trip!!

Driving from MI to VA in a Uhaul with my little brother!  Lol!!!  It was a very long but good day!  Sometimes chatting, listening music, and being silly. Laughing over rediculous things and, in my case, napping:). 

Then we finally made it to Northern VA and my two dear friends brought us dinner!!!  So tired but so happy to spend time with friends!!  

365 Things to Smile About Day 266. GRADUATION!!!!!

Three years ago I was going through my cancer diagnosis and getting ready for a surgery that would completely change my life. I was praying and hoping that I wouldn't need treatment afterwards but that wasn't the case. Six brutal chemo treatments were in the cards for me. I couldn't imagine a specific future at the time. I could only think in the moment and anticipate in fear the next doctor visit or treatment. It took a long time to not make myself sick with that fear. I still get nervous but no where near as bad. 

At any rate, I didn't know what was going to happen in my life anymore. Then, as I got a few months into my recovery, I found the graduate program I started almost two years ago. And today I made it to the end!  I walked across the stage during graduation and heard my name called!!  I wasn't in a wheel chair this time from anemia. I didn't have a cancer diagnosis hanging over my head! I had kicked that evil creature in the teeth and took my life back!!!!  I am now on track for a career that is meaningful and something I love!!  I have people in my life who I love and who love me and have been rooting me on and supporting me!!  Pushing me and encouraging me to take my life back and make it great!!  Walking across that stage was a moment I had been working for!!  No matter how hard it was going to school during recovery I wasn't going to give up!  And that ceremony was my payment for that work and determination. 

As I write this, my brother and I are driving a UHaul full of my things out to Virginia for my internship and the rest of my life!  My message here is...NEVER GIVE UP!!  There will be days you want to. There will be days where all you can do is cry!  Days you don't want to get out of bed because it's too hard!  Well, let yourself cry and maybe curl up in bed for a little. But then GET UP!  Keep putting one foot in front of the other and before you know it...you will be at your goal and your whole life will be before you, just waiting for you to jump in and LIVE!!!  

365 Things to Smile About Day 265. Awesome Neighbors!!

Friday was a stressful day!  My brother and I had to pack my apartment into the moving truck!  Fortunately I have a pretty amazing neighbor!!  She saw the two of us starting work and offered to help. She very kindly saved me from having a total melt down by packing up my kitchen for me!!!!  All I can say is thank you Lord for such an amazing friend and neighbor!!!!